‘Those who make conversations impossible, make escalation inevitable.’ (Stefan Molyneux)
It was a stimulating 2 days, co-leading a Masterclass with Charlotte for a diverse group of trained and experienced action learning facilitators. One of the things we looked at was Personal Trigger Maps. I find this a useful developmental tool for coaches and facilitators, enabling them to identify their own emotional hot spots and prepare ways to deal with them, should they feel triggered (sometimes unexpectedly) during an encounter with an individual or group.
I first became aware of this in a counselling course many years ago where I was placed, with others, in a group without explanation and without a leader to see what would emerge. I felt relaxed and happy to sit with the silence, observing rather than participating, until a man in the room put down a vulnerable-sounding woman harshly. Something triggered within me and I sprang into rescue mode, taking out the surprised man forcefully. Eeek. An important lesson.
The Map itself has 5 stages: 1. Trigger: the external event or situation; 2. Interpretation: the meaning I assign to it (often automatically); 3. Core sensitivity: the deeper value, fear or wound it touches; 4. Reaction: my emotional and behavioural response; 5. Regulation/choice: What helps me to response more skilfully. We can work through the 5 stages sequentially. It fosters emotional and social intelligence and can enable a shift from reactivity to responsiveness.
Here’s an illustration:
- Trigger: a colleague interrupts me during a meeting.
- Interpretation: ‘They don’t respect me or believe my ideas matter.’
- Core sensitivity: Fear of being invisible, undervalued or ignored.
- Reaction: emotional – irritation, embarrassment; behaviour – withdrawing, snapping back or over-explaining.
- Regulation/choice: Pause and name the feeling internally (‘I’m feeling dismissed’). Remind myself that interruption doesn’t necessarily equal disrespect. Respond calmly, e.g. ‘Let me finish my thought, then I’d love to hear your input.’
Our next Master Action Learning Facilitation Programme is on 7 and 6 October 2026. If you want to chat before booking, please book a slot with Charlotte here.
